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She won’t be able to get what she needs through a straw. She’ll just starve, and then maybe dehydrate, and…’ She was hugging him so tightly that he was talking to the back of her head. ‘It would be worse, if she had a feeding tube. My father lasted 6 extra months because of a feeding tube, and he was miserable the whole time. I know it’s hard, but your Mom thought it through in advance, and this is the way it has to be.’ ‘I don’t know what I’m going to DO when she’s gone,’ she told his shoulder. ‘After the medical bills, I don’t even know if there will be enough for me to finish college.’ ‘Worry about that later. We’ll work something out.’ ‘I’m only in three classes, and I’m having a hard time keeping up. But I have to have all three.’ ‘If you have to choose,’ he said gently, ‘do your other classes first. I can catch you up later. The situation with your Mom would qualify you for an incomplete if you need it.’ She pulled back, and looked at him through teary eyes. ‘You’d really let. ." She trailed off then, and there were no words he could give her. He wanted to draw her closer, turn her towards him, comfort her, but the frightening truth was that she might not find his presence a comfort right now. So he stayed, drawn back from her, a weight of appalling shame on his chest, as she cried.The truth, though, was that he couldn't have answered at that moment if he'd wanted to. There was a lot he had to sort through."Well, the first ... Caitlyn, the first thing I have to say to you is that no, I am not having an affair. I never would. If we were having problems, I'd talk to you about them. If there really was something I felt like we lacked, I'd talk to you and we'd see if we could find other ways, and ... I would be honest with you. But we aren't. We aren't having ... Well, okay, we're having problems, we're bone-tired and two cents from bankruptcy. But we're not having problems, you and I aren't, not like we did those first few months." But we don't do anything in.
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